I was on the Zulu on Biera Patrol. We were there during the World cup and being shadowed by a Portugese Destroyer, a River Class that we had sold them earlier I think.
We beat the Portugese in the semi-finals it was not long before 'World Cup Willie' was hoisted from a yard.
The Destroyer sent her congratulations, of course, but we knew they did not really mean it.

My memories of being ashore in Mombasa are the 5/- allnighters. The LSBAs standard remarks of those who went to see him about uninvited guests, "CRABS!! what do you expect for five bob SCAMPI?"

We had some excellent runs ashore in the Merchant Navy Club, the Casa B, the Sardinia etc. Had some excellent station leaves up the line in Nairobi and the Mombers train journey to Nairobi, (with a 25/- dinner that started with lakefish) that gave us some brill views of wild life as we ran into Nairobi during the Dawn period.

I stayed with an oppo of mine Eric, on a coffee plantation where we were looked after brilliantly. Our host took us to a cricket match. They got us well and truly kale eyed and then asked me to keep score. They gave me a Fountain Pen and even more Tusker!! I wonder to this day if they have ever worked out who won.

I left the RN in 74 as an REM1, after time on Eagle, Zulu again and the 2 years in Mauritius. I was working the old Test engineer circuit after a spell in the North Sea. It was quite good, plenty of work around (I once had five starts to go to, on one Monday) untill the MOD started to go to competetive tender. I worked for Plessy, Racal, Marconi, Lucas and others. Then I got a little job in Saudi....and I have been travelling since.

The good thing about modern times, compared say to the sixties in Mombers or Mauritius is that Insecticides seem to work better. There are still plenty of jumbolic sized cockney roaches around (Bombay Runners) but with a bit of care and lots of DDT (drop dead twice) I have managed to keep my grot free of such items.

I am reminded of a time in Mauritius when I had a stint as a Daymen, no watches! One of the duties of the Daymen LREM was to be Killick in charge of the fire party. One thing you could say about us Mate a lots then was that we had the common dog and training to fight a fire.

Our Appliance was a Custom built Landrover, saw a few of these hanging around various shore bases in UK. It was fitted with everything but a bar and bayonet lugs.

Anyway one afternoon the fire party get a call to the married quarters where smoke was seen coming from a Junior rates quarter. Like men possessed the fire party led by the Killick REM manned this appliance and went to the scene.

On arrival he looked, saw the smoke coming out of a couple of windows. The fire party tried the doors but all were locked. They tried to get the in touch with the tenant (then the Killick clubswinger) but no luck. So he may have been inside with his family.
No time for delay, instant decision time. Due to the nature of Mauritius, (more tea leaves than a dockyard mateys gash bin) the doors were well reinforced with bars. No keys available, no time available, no choice the door had to be forced.
It was decided to drag the door of with chains shackled to the bars and the front of the appliance.
While this was being done the detailed off "hero for the day, an REM1" who had a crap complexion anyway, was detailed and fitted with the breathing mask, the one with the long tube.

The door came right away with a lot of masonry on the second yoik of the Rover.

The duty hero, on hands and knees, under the smoke as per the manual crawled in to see what was going on.

He came out about thirty seconds later and threw onto the grass a canister belching out thick grey insecticide. It would appear that the Killick clubswinger had gone on a Friday while to the beach club, (another story) and had done what a lot of us used to do. He had left a Bombay runner killing bomb in his gaffe. He just did not advise the neighbours. It was a sparker's wife that called it in and she did right of course.

However the rights and wrongs of it did not come into the argument when the killick PTI (a confirmed leading hand of the executive branch) was being told by a very new ACTING Leading REM (of a non-executive horrible greeny type branch) why, when he came off of a very beer filled weekend why he found his front door and a lot of his bricks replaced by a big green tarp. Some people are not designed to understand that they might be at fault and dabtoe killicks are a prime example. The only other seaman on Mauritius was a killick postie, says it all really. HMS Mauritius was in fact like a different Navy in a small village. Everything was larger than life. Really a cross between the Navy Lark and Coronation St. More Later. Gotta turn to again.


Dave Crowson(REM1)


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